Photo by congerdesign from Pixabay

‘Tis the season for things haunted.  So, here is an anecdote with a haunting angle to it, one that I incorporated into my book on relationships.  It concerns my grandfather, an immigrant from Sweden, who returned to his homeland 50 years after emigrating to the United States.  He traveled with his wife, who was also of Swedish descent and spoke the language.  While travelling in Sweden he ran into a former girlfriend of his.  You might think she would be happy to see him and want to catch up on the events of the intervening years.  But no, the story goes, she confronted him: “How could you just run off to America and leave me behind like that?” 

The ghosts of our past never really go away, something that was driven home to me recently while helping to plan a high school reunion.  I took it upon myself to track down classmates, some of whom I had never really known or who did not remember me.  It turns out that had little to do with how a typical conversation progressed.  Folks would usually tell me something about their current family situation, who they had married, for example.  So far, so good.  At some point the conversation would shift to who they had dated in high school and then to who they had had a crush on but were never able to make a go of it.  Not infrequently, I would hear stories of what they had done wrong in life, often tales of sexual immorality—even if they did not remember me.  It’s as if they viewed our telephonic conversation as a confessional. 

Mistakes from our past can haunt us for a lifetime, especially those involving broken relationships and sins of the flesh.  This is something to keep in mind as we navigate life.  Our words and actions—whether good or bad—might never be forgotten.  That “one night stand” where she was used and then discarded?  She won’t forget it.  Being stood up on a date?  He’ll remember that too.     

We would do well in life to choose our words and actions carefully.